Sunday, May 03, 2009

Liberal Policy Making in a Nutshell

Some wonder how political parties decide what should be part of their platform. In honour of the recent Liberal convention, I thought I'd detail how that party makes it's decisions.

There's a problem...
Step 1: blame most recent Conservative leader regardless of how much time has passed since they left office, be it a month or ten years.
-People believe you: do nothing
-People don't believe you: proceed to step 2

Step 2: Can we ban it?
-Yes: problem solved, remember to ignore cautions by experts against banning it.
-No: proceed to step 3
-Already banned: legalize it then proceed to step 3

Step 3: Can we tax it?
-Yes: problem solved, set it at some ridiculously high number and call it a premium. Free all inclusive trips to Cuba for all our friends!
-Already taxed: Hike tax by minimum 5% but more is better. Buy the good Scotch and roll some BC bud to celebrate.
-No: There is no "no". The sheer concept of not taxing something would implode the universe

There is no problem...
Step 1: Manufacture fake problem

Step 2: See above...
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