New Tax System for Canada: The Party Tax

I was thinking about Michael Ignatiff's comments that Canada should raise taxes during a recession, and about Dalton McGuinty's 8% tax increase. People on the left seem to be all about taxes and are quite content to pay more. Therefore, I've devised a new tax system for Canada which I'm calling the Party Tax.

The Party Tax does away with all conventional tax systems such as tiered income taxes that vary depending on your income bracket. Instead, the Party Tax is a flat tax which is paid depending on who you vote for. Here's the formula.

Vote Liberal: Liberals enjoy paying taxes and don't mind when they are increased. In fact, I'd say they're eager to fork out more. They're the first to demand Canadians pay their fair share whenever the government spends too much on some harebrained scheme. I think they need to pay more of their fair share since they're responsible for most of those schemes. They can obviously afford to divert a larger portion of their income to the government than most Canadians do. After all, they're the ones who demand the most government expenses. Therefore, under the Party Tax, all Liberals would pay at least 50% of their income.

Vote NDP: The New Democrats are all about helping the poor and they like to spend like water as well. At least their causes are somewhat more noble if misguided, unlike the Liberals who love spending cash on their pet projects. NDPers are also technically fuctionally retarded so they shouldn't have to pay as much as their wealthier Liberal counterparts. All NDP voters would pay a flat rate of 45% of their income.

Vote Conservative: Conservatives spend money more sensibly so they can be trusted to invest their cash into the economy. Therefore, their money is not really needed for the government and should be diverted to the private sector, which employs most of the NDPers. (Most Liberals work for government or for a friend in government) Since they're pumping so much to keep the rest afloat already, they should pay less tax. Therefore, all Conservatives should pay a flat rate of 5% of their income.

Vote Bloc: The Parti for Quebec, Bloc members don't really care about Canada so why should they pay to take care of it. Instead, they should pay a flat rate of 100% of their income to the Quebec provincial government to keep their greedy "nation" afloat.